


Just not good enough

by Amancham-EN (Amancham)



Category: Leverage
Genre: Community: comment_fic, F/M, Implied Relationships, M/M, Not Beta Read, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-20
Updated: 2011-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-30 15:38:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amancham/pseuds/Amancham-EN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all think the same: I'm not good enough. Sometimes, people just should talk to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. POV: Parker

**Author's Note:**

> Original Post: http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/151062.html?thread=32091670#t32091670
> 
> prompt:  
> Leverage, Hardison/Eliot/Parker, one of them doesn't think (s)he is good enough for the others
> 
> A/N:  
> I kinda overdid this one. I found the prompt so lovely I just had to do one for each of the three. That's why this commenfic actually has 3 parts. ;)

She knows she's different. Maybe even crazy. But she can't help it. She doesn't know better. Well maybe she knows - she just can't act appropriately. She tries to be right. To act normal. It's just way too hard. Eventually the truth comes out and then he pokes into the open wound, calls her crazy and proclaims that something is wrong with her. He doesn't know how much it hurts. All she wants is for him to like her. But she knows she's not good enough for him. Not ever. He doesn't even seem to like her. Which is a shame. He is pretty awesome. Crazy or not, she knows that much. Like a flower, she blossoms with every nice word he says. Like that time when he taught her a thing or two about fighting. Him telling her, that she did good, great even, that he was proud of her progress ... That felt great. But it was just for a few short moments. Most of the time she's fully aware that he thinks she's just a crazy little girl and that he will never look at her as an equally sane person. She just isn't good enough in being normal.  
  
She knows he likes her. But she doesn't want to hurt him. Last time she stabbed her mark. The other time she broke her mark's finger. She's just not good with people. She's a thief, not a grifter. Her gift is not to be seen, not to encounter the mark. In and out as quick as possible, not to be seen by anyone, her only contact with the goods she wants to steal. That's her. That is who she is. She is overwhelmed by his affection and even more by her own feelings. Half the time she doesn't even know what she feels, can't name her emotions. The way he looks at her, with those soulful eyes, the way he caresses her, every opportunity he gets to touch her ... But how is she supposed to react to that? What should she do or say or probably NOT say? She really likes him. A lot. A life without him is probably her worst fear by now. But he is so adorable, so cute, so loving ... She can't give that back to him. She would love to, she just can't. She doesn't know how to let him know, how to tell him or how to behave. She is overwhelmed by her own emotions and the whole situation. Oh, he deserves so much better than her.


	2. POV: Hardison

He tries. Oh, he really does. Tries to show them how good he is. That he can do more than just type around on a keyboard and speak in geek terms. But half the time he feels like they don't recognize his efforts and the other half of the time he fails. Actually, more like two thirds, if he is really honest with himself. No matter what he does, it's just never good enough. Even when they were handcuffed and he persuaded him to take out that bomb in the camp, he still complained. Fear and doubts are his daily companions. He just isn't built for life outside an office room or - as Mr. Muscle loves pointing out - outside the geek's cellar. How can he ever compete with a guy who's travelled half the world, fought many wars, helped so many people, and saved so many lives. He tries so hard, sometimes he even forgets who he is. All he wants is to be recognized as an asset, an important part of the team. And a friend, maybe. He is touchy. He can't help it. It's his nature. He likes being close to people. He likes hugging, hi5ing and fooling around. But he knows that they never will be friends. He doesn't even see him, most of the time. He's just not good enough.  
  
She is simply awesome. Yeah, she is different, but that doesn't bother him at all. He is different, too. So what? She is beautiful and cute. The way she scratches her nose und pulls a face when she doesn't understand stuff, the way she turns statues, jewelry and pictures into valuable conversation partners, how she gives personality to non-living things. She doesn't even know how special she is. He would love to hold her close, protect her, and make her see what he sees when he looks at her. But that might never happen. He tried, once or twice, to make a move. She kissed him occasionally. But she doesn't even know what that does to him.  He wants to be with her all the time and it hurts him that he can't. She deserves so much better than him. Someone like Eliot, maybe. Someone to keep up with her and to protect her. He turns into a crying child every time a gun is pointed at him. Yes. He just isn't the right guy for her.


	3. POV: Eliot

He hates feeling as if he's dumb. But every time he is anywhere near him, that is exactly how he feels. He tries to compensate, in a way. Tries to show them - him - that he knows stuff, too. That he can do stuff, too. It doesn't help much. And then there are all those little comments he makes. “Oh I'm sorry it was too far away for you to punch. That must really frustrate you.” and “Well ... Punch somebody. That's what you do, right?” As if he was all about the punching and the muscles. Yeah, maybe he is. He likes hitting bad guys. But he has brains, too. That just never gets recognized. He would love to be friends, but then he remembers all the things he had done in his past and he realizes: They can never be friends. If the truth ever comes out, they are going to send him off. Back to a life all by himself. That's why he tries to keep to himself. 'Cause he knows they deserve better than him. He deserves a friend, a comrade not a killer acting nice.  
  
She is beautiful. A little crazy, sometimes, a little different. But that doesn't bother him all that much. Actually, he finds it fascinating that she is so very different from all the other women. He would love to get to know her better, to find out who she really is, what makes her tick. Hell he would love to be with her. He has feelings for her, feelings he tries to hide and certainly would deny if anyone ever asked him. But still. He knows he would walk to the end of the world for her. He would kill for her; he would protect her from any harm even if it meant his death. He doesn't care about living or dying. He just wants her to be safe. But he knows: He can never be with her. She deserves better. She deserves someone who isn't shy about his feelings. Someone who already understands her instead of having to learn to understand her. Someone who can really love her without regrets, without holding back. Someone like Hardison. He sees the way the two of them look at each other and he steps back, back into the shades, away from them. She deserves so much better than him.


End file.
